1. How are a coffee pot and a man different?
A man goes to work; a coffee pot goes to perk.
2. Why are ducks always happy?
They never have to pay their bills.
3. What's the difference between a duck and a baby?
one toddles, the other waddles.
4. What is a duck's favorite restaurant?
Why, of course, the Quacker Barrel!
5. Why do cats never make mistakes?
Because, they're purrurrurrurrfect.
6. How do you tie up apples and oranges?
In fruit loops.
7. Why did the crook try to pick up the store?
Because, he was shop-lifting.
8. What is a crook's favorite restaurant?
Burgler king.
9. How does a crook wake up in the mornings?
With a burgler alarm.
10. How are crooks and candy canes different?
Every candy cane has a crook, but, every crook doesn't have a candy cane.
11. What kind of races do depressed people run?
Drag races!
11. Why do people get on-line for their vacations?
They like to see the sites.
12. How do blind people get around at Christmas?
By using candy canes.
13. How do you fix a problem on the Starship Enterprise?
You call treck support.
14. How did the blonde get to computer class on time?
She took the Outlook Express.
15. What kinds of toothpaste do hunters buy?
They get Close-up; then, they take Aim.
16. Why did the blonde take art supplies to computer class?
So she could cut and paste.
17. Did you hear about the blonde who never got an email?
She was Outlook depressed.
18. How do you tease a frog?
Ribit, ribit.
19. Why do frogs never win arguments?
Because, they're always jumping to conclusions.
20. How does a baker get to his shop?
He kneads to go due yeast.
21. What would Shakespeare call a baby pig?
A Hamlet!
22. What do you get, when you cross Fonzy with the Easter bunny?
Answer: Sunday, Monday, Hoppy Days,
Tuesday, Wednesday, hoppy days!
23. What kind of races do depressed people run?
Drag races!
Copyright 2003 by Quipster
All Rights Reserved.
