1.  How does a moron author get rich?


He writes his first checkbook.


2.  What is the main difference between a fish and a person?


A fish gets in the net; a person gets on the net.


3.  How does a fish get information?


By getting on line.


4.  What do you call a fire alarm that fights crime?


A smoke detective.


5.  What do you get when you cross a pepper with a computer?


You get a hot link!


6.  What do you call an air freshener that performs magic?


Wizard.


7.  How do you keep clean in outerspace?


You take a medior shower.


8.  Why did the moron throw food out of the space ship?


He wanted to make sure there was a full moon.


9.  Why did the film director go to outerspace?


to look for new stars.


10. How do musicians keep track of their money?


They check their bank notes.


11. What happens if you cross Luke Skywalker with a baseball game?

Umpire strikes back!


12. Why is a match less fortunate than a baseball player?

Because, the match only gets one strike!


13. Did you hear about the coat that got drug-free?


It's now a straight jacket!

1.  Where does a moron keep his money?


At the river bank.


2.  What do you get when you cross a couple and a musician?


You get love notes.


3.  What do you get when you cross a computer with a busy street?


I don't know; I've crossed busy streets, but, I've never crossed a computer.


4.  What do you say about a hunter who can't catch a rabbit?


He's having a bad hare day.


5.  What's the difference between an ape and a beautician?


One has hair on the body; the other has body in the hair.


6.  What is the difference between a grandmother and a pianist?


One has a grandbaby; the other has a babygrand.


7.  What do you call a moron who is born on Resurrection Sunday?


An Easter egghead.


8.  What do you call a spoiled rabbit?


Peter Rotten-tail.


9.  Why do coffee drinkers take money to outerspace?


To make sure they will have starbucks.


10. Why does coffee give you energy?


Because, it's perked up!


11. Why did the Big Mac win the race?


Because, it was fast food!


12. How do government workers help us get exercise?


They give us the run-around.



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